Here’s Why Men Can’t Tell When Women Don’t Fancy Them…
It’s a sad fact that some women don’t feel confident enough to reject guys outright. So they’ll drop hints that they’re not interested. We’ve all been there, right? The random at the bar who won’t leave you alone? There’s always a few clueless ones who just.don’t.get.it, and carry on trying it on. Yet so many of my friends tell me that they have a hard time turning a guy down at a bar. For some reason, they opt for a very passive way of turning a guy down but this just wastes time and his feelings will be doubly hurt when he realises the truth. Sure, different women have different ways to deal with it, and different guys, depending on their persistence, of course, deserve different responses.
Apparently though, there’s a proper scientific reason for their bewilderment
A recent Bulletin & Review study found that a lot of straight men misinterpret signals from women. The research found the more attractive a woman is, the more a guy will think she’s interested in him. This is because he’s projecting his own sexual interest onto her.
Both male and female participants were shown full-length photos of women. They were then asked how sexually interested she was, ranging from ‘extremely rejecting’ to ‘extremely sexually interested’. While half were told to look out for body language and facial expressions before making their decision. The other lot were given no instructions whatsoever. They were also asked to comment on how the woman’s clothes and perceived attractiveness influenced their decision. It’ll come as no surprise that the female participants were a great deal more likely to use emotional cues to make their judgements. The guys however, relied heavily on attractiveness when deciding whether the women were interested.
So what can you do if he’s just not giving up? Here are some options:
Make Up a Fake Boyfriend as an Excuse
This is effective, but if he’s being so persistent that I feel the need to make up a boyfriend, I’d rather he knew that his personality formulated my decision to be honest.
Turn Him Down Politely
Yes, but only if you’re also firm when you say you’re not interested. Politeness serves both parties. It’s upfront, considerate, not mean, and puts the message across.
Give Out a Fake Number
No. Please don’t do this. Just tell him you’re not interested. On the other end of that fake number is some poor unsuspecting person that doesn’t need Dan or Ryan or whoever from the bar last night trying to get into his pants.
So, Just Say No?
Yes! Do this. The easiest of them all is just being honest, and avoiding all the mind games in general.
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