5 Steps to Bounce Back From a Broken Heart
Step 1: No contact
When somebody breaks up with you, no matter their reason, it is because they don’t want to be with you anymore. That means they don’t want to hear from you either. That means not harassing them with your heartfelt paragraphs of what you are feeling and not sending him sad face emoticons. Every time you make a fool of yourself texting things you will most definitely regret later. You are at the beginning stages of removing what you thought was a permanent fixture from your life, and it now serves you no purpose to keep putting yourself in a position to get continuously rejected.
In addition to saving yourself some unnecessary grief, you will also instantly become more mysterious, more powerful. He broke up with you, he expects you to be upset. Why aren’t you showing it? If nothing else, it makes you seem a little bit more attractive to your now ex, and gives him a nice little poke to the ego whilst accelerating your healing.
Step 2: Understand Why a Broken Heart is So Painful
When we are in love or infatuation your brain is producing oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These chemicals create those bonding, loving feelings you have when you’re really into somebody. Even more so when you are physically intimate with them over a period of time. We are hard-wired to operate this way. Evolution theory says that the purpose of this is to keep partners together when inevitably raising children. It was easier to protect the young from predators and raise them to adulthood with two able-bodied humans on the same team. These primitive feelings and chemical releases are basic functions of our brains, and they hard to remove once somebody dumps you.
The production of these powerful chemicals will absolutely fade over time. Every profile pic you stare at re-releases them in trace amounts, and every text you send to him couples those chemicals with adrenaline, a dangerous combination.
Step 3: No Social Media Stalking
Why on earth would you want to torture yourself looking at the old pictures, while watching him virtually move on? Delete the pictures, do not give him the chance to untag them. Unfollow his friends and family so you don’t get to accidentally see him in a photo. Unfollow him. Obviously. I’d say unfriend, everybody says unfriend, but if you have enough self control to not look at his page, I say don’t bother. If you are doing a good job at no contact he’ll get curious. He will look at your page eventually. Make sure it’s full of you being positive.
Step 4: Listen To The Universe
He is not the one. The one will stay. The one would never make you feel the way you do right now. Painful as your broken heart is, you are being slowly moved along to what should be. You must get through and past this to get to the greater good. And you can. And you will. It is not a choice. One day, you will wake up next to the person who will stay and who could have never come to you if you didn’t take every step necessary to begin again.
Step 5: This Too Shall Pass
Just the fact that you are reading this article, already proves it. You gave your heart and your all to somebody, and those intangible items don’t just return to you overnight. It takes time and it takes letting the grief flow through and out of you until it’s gone. Along with mourning the loss of intimacy with someone you saw a future with, your self-worth and esteem get wiped out. Your ego is bruised and you have a broken heart, you don’t feel like you’ll ever be yourself again. It’s lonely, and it’s exhausting. But it is something pretty much all of us go through at one time or another, and you are not alone. It is all part of the roller coaster human experience. This too shall pass.
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