Surviving The End Of The Honeymoon Phase
We’ve all been there. You start dating and everything is exciting, your life is just so sparkly and new. It seems like you couldn’t possibly disagree on anything because you just ‘get’ each other. There are hormones flying everywhere and suddenly dragging yourself apart to go to work or see your friends seems like the biggest effort in the world. Everything is fantastic.
However, for lots of women, those initial few months of dating someone new left them plagued with doubts over whether the person in question really liked them, so getting past that was welcome relief. Truth is, I personally prefer it that the honeymoon period is over – it’s the time when you realise if your relationship is lust, or if it really is love. When all the hormones have worn off is there anything left? The phase after the honeymoon phase is sometimes referred to as the attachment phase. It’s designed to keep a couple together at least long enough to raise children and ensure the continuation of the human species.
Truthfully, being comfortable in a relationship is seriously underrated. It’s like a warm log fire on a cold winter’s night.
Although you won’t have that honeymoon phase forever, you can still do things to make each other feel special and loved. Just because you have been together for a while doesn’t mean you should relax and stop paying attention to each other. You can keep the love alive by continuing to respect each other and making an effort to stay connected. Over time, couples take one another for granted and this leads to the end of the honeymoon phase. Paying mindful attention to each other will help maintain that early feeling of togetherness.
It’s also important to nurture your relationship by remaining aware of your emotions. During an argument, it’s easy to be critical and blame your partner for any negative feelings that may arise, but you’ll benefit from learning to step back and take ownership of how you’re feeling at any given moment. In our efforts to share our feelings with our partner, which is good self-care, we often give them all the power for those feelings, which is bad self-care. We say things like, “You made me feel…” It is our job to manage our own feelings.
Compromise is such an important thing in a lasting relationship, especially with the big stuff. He will keep me sane and I’ll keep him a little wild. It’s a trade in. Sacrifices will always happen in a relationship – for both people.
The honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The good news is, if your relationship makes it past this stage, you have a chance at developing true love. The way to solve this need for ‘honeymoon’ love is to be educated about the way real love works. Love in stages two and three is better, but you have to do the work to get there. You have to dare to see the truth about the one you love. And you have to dare to let them see you. Real love is worth it. And when the honeymoon stage ends, better love is upon you.
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