Our beliefs create our thoughts; our thoughts become our feelings, our feelings become our behaviours, which bring us our results. The things we believe about ourselves (our stories) must serve us well. Because ultimately, they end up creating the realities that we live in.
It really is that simple, once you realise it isn’t difficult
One of my best friends always struggled with his weight. It ended up impacting his whole life and his mental health. In his story, he was an overweight guy with a slow metabolism. He truly believed this with every cell in his body, and he clung to the label of slow metabolism like his life depended on it.
Whenever anyone in our group asked him if he wanted to go to the gym with them or do anything else that might have helped with his weight, he was uninterested. And I can’t blame him; I’d be too if I thought anything I did wouldn’t make a difference. Why bother? You’ve got a slow metabolism, right? Pointless to even attempt to do anything about it because nothing will make any difference.
So you can see from this example, his beliefs created his thoughts (I’m an overweight person because of my slow metabolism), his thoughts became his feelings (severe depression), his feelings became his behaviours (not doing anything about it because of depression) and the results? A lifetime of struggles with his weight.
The stories we believe about ourselves are dominant. So if you want to change your life, you have to change your beliefs. Sounds easy, right? The problem is that most people are super protective of their beliefs, and they tend to get pretty grouchy with you should you propose that there may be another version of the truth.
So what are your stories?
What do you think about? What do you say?
- Money is the root of all evil
- There are no good men out there
- I never have any money
- I have an addictive personality
- There are no jobs
We get so comfortable with our stories that we don’t even notice they’re not true most of the time.
What are you getting from your stories?
Come on, be honest with yourself; what are you gaining from your story? As humans, we don’t keep doing something unless we get something out of it. Whether it’s good for us or not.
Let’s say, for example, that your story is that you never have any money. There’s a good chance that even though it feels shitty to be broke. By staying penniless, you get to be correct, and you get to be dependent on other people. It also gets you attention when you can remain firmly in the victim role. Other people will step in and offer to pay, so you don’t have to take responsibility. You also get to give up before you’ve even started, therefore avoiding all risk of failure because you can’t afford to take risks, right?
Throw away your stories
Make a list of all the fake benefits you’ve been gaining from your stories. Thank them for coming along on this ride with you, but it’s time for them to go now. Replace those bogus rewards with all of the happiness and excitement you feel about writing yourself a brand new script. Take a deep breath and breathe in the new story; breathe out the old story.
Now take the first baby step to progress on the path you want to go!
The sooner you decide to rewrite yourself a better book, the quicker you get to start living it.