Our Top Tips For Online Dating in Your 40s and Beyond

Our Top Tips For Online Dating in Your 40s and Beyond

Recent research revealed there are almost a million over 40s looking to find love online, but many lack the confidence to get back out there, or feel out of touch with the modern rules of dating. If you’re single and ready to mingle, you’re hardly alone. The fear of something often makes it rise up in your life as a quest. While dating can be tough, you have the power to get what you want. Dating can be daunting at any age, but if you’re over 40 it can present a whole host of different challenges. But it’s also one of the best times in life to start online dating. Here’s what you need to know about dating in your 40s, 50s and beyond.

The most common mistake people over 40 make is continuing to go after their ‘so-called type,’ ask yourself, ‘How has going after my type worked so far?’  If the answer is ‘not so good,’ then start thinking outside the box. Try dating someone who simply seems like an interesting, kind, fun, successful human being. Stop worrying if he’s cute, or how tall or short he is, or whether she has blonde hair and long legs. And, by all means, stop saying he or she isn’t your type before you’ve even given the person the chance to prove otherwise. You might just find out that when you let go of Your Type, you actually let love in. So much of living is having experiences that make sense when shared with another. We are reflective beings, we so often become more real in the gaze of another.

Just think about all of the things you know now that you didn’t when you first started dating. Not only are you much better at judging other people, but you also know yourself much better. Maybe a divorce has forced you to stand on your own two feet for the first time in years, or a bereavement has made you realise that life’s too short. Whatever your history, you have light years more experience than you did in your 20s. When you’re dating over 40, going online really is a great way to get back into it. You can review your matches from the security and comfort of your phone and take time to really get to know them before meeting up. Plus, you’re under no obligation to meet anyone or share any personal details.

Over the course of your adult life, you’ve likely fallen in love with someone you consider to be the best. But idealising people in your past can cloud your present vision. It’s hard not to compare someone new with the person you might still be holding a torch for. If you have a side-by-side checklist, there’s no way someone new will make the cut. It’s time to leave the baggage behind.

Singles over 40 who are new to dating don’t always know how much time dating can involve. By middle age, you may already have a full social life, a job, and family demands. Try to balance your life and create we time with your potential mate before you get too deep and blend families. At the end of the day, your kids will grow up and have separate lives—and so will their kids. You both need to focus on your new relationship as something that could last for the rest of your life.

While baring your soul can leave you feeling vulnerable. If you never ask for what you want, how will you ever get it? Pretending you really have no expectations for the relationship, conveys you are happy with whatever course it may take. Engaging in ambiguous behaviour puts you at a disadvantage when you are trying to get your needs met. You should express your intentions and answer all questions from a place of acceptance and understanding that there are no judgments.

You never know where a relationship will go. But you want to be clear and open about what you are interested in. Assertiveness should never be confused with being overbearing. Never give up, there are almost 1 million single over 50’s in the UK who are already online dating and waiting to meet someone new.

We think that dating sites are a great place to start your search and enable you to filter through lots of potential dates quickly and easily. So whether you’re looking for just senior dating or a sugar mummy dating site there’s something for everyone!

Welcome to Vivre Le Rêve, an online lifestyle magazine for all those who are or who want to be living the dream! I’m Rose, the lifestyle editor here at Vivre Le Rêve.