How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
Long-distance relationships can be tough. If you’ve been there, you know it all too well. Factor in time differences, busy schedules, and miles apart, and you could really start feeling the strain. But, thanks to technology, maintaining a long distance relationship these days is easier than ever. We’ve discovered a few secret ingredients to make your LDR thrive:
Trust is important in any relationship but it’s particularly essential in a long-distance relationship. There’s so much distance between you that it’s easy to become insecure. Having clear parameters and daily contact is so important. If you’re in contact every day then you’ll be able to talk through your feelings rather than having days or weeks to mull on them. Agreements about what behaviors are and are not OK when personal contact is not possible for extended periods need to be worked out. And those agreements need to be honored, with concerns about them ironed out as each agreement becomes explicit. Each of you must be aware that violating an agreement has consequences for the integrity of the relationship, and that violations require repairs.
When it comes to making their relationship’s work, some couples rely on texting less. The problem with people texting all the time is that if you’re texting somebody everything you’re doing throughout the day, there’s no catch up. It removes the all important recap.
You both need to decide where you’d like this relationship to go early on. If you’re going to invest time and effort into keeping in contact then you’ll want to know early on that you’re both heading in the same direction. Are you going to give it six months and then get together to review how it’s going? Are you working towards living together one day?
Still Go On Dates
Just because you can’t physically go to the cinema doesn’t mean you have to ditch romance all together. Have a Face Time dinner date where you set up a certain time to eat while you unwind from your day and chat. Watch a movie or TV show together over the phone. Make it a routine to call your partner every day on your way home from work. Making time for each other is important when you’re not automatically going to see them every night.
Make Time To Just Be
Reuniting after time apart can make relationships feel intense a lot of the time. Because of this it can be hard to know if your relationship would work under ordinary circumstances. Be sure to plan some downtime during each visit so you can get a better sense of how you function as a couple under more typical conditions.
Face To Face
Physical contact with your partner is the glue that binds everything else, it’s vital that these meetings happen if you want the relationship to be successful. As soon as a visit is over plan the next one so you both have something to look forward to and there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Also, get a credit card that earns airline miles. Make sure to pick a card with an airline component so you can rack up the points.
Firm plans, precise times for meeting online, a willingness to talk about the future and, most importantly, an agreement that if it isn’t working you’ll tell each other are all needed. All of these things will help to create that feeling of security that you need for your long-distance relationship to survive.
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